experiencing emotions

what is the impact?
negative emotions like anger, sadness(loneliness) and fear(worry, anxiety) create disomfort within the body.

it invlove phsiological reaction which you cannot control when it happened. it will die off based on natural physio reaction. people always relate emotions to the trigger event. very rarely do people feel worried without any association to something.

people feel anxious when it is their turn to speak in an presentation. people get angry when somebody gives them extra things to do.

how do you think emotion can occur?
either during an event or something that has not much event but involves your perception.

what is the effect if it happens while you are in the midst of something?
negative emotions are uncomfortable so it will definietly affect what you are doing.

so what is the correct attitude when you are doing something and emotion comes in?
know that the thing you are doing will be affected so lower your expectation accordingly.

what are the common mistakes?
people let their emotions create more emotions and thoughts, and lengthen their discomfort period.

how do people generally react to emotion?
they feel the discomfort, and become worry, sad, angry or possibly other feelings. they then relate this feelings to the trigger issue. judgments and opinions will then be made like, "this person is so rude, he should not done this to me" or "oh no, the i am feeling anxious, i cannot possibly speak well with this anxiety now, how? how?"

wrong judgments will reinforce wrong thoughts into your mind, create wrong behavior, beliefs and get wrong results generally speaking. i thas both short and lon run bad effects.

then what is the solution?
to prevent forming wrong opinions, practise not making judgment about the trigger issue. be aware that the initial discomfort will affect your performance, so accept the drop in performance. if the emotions keep coming, you have no choice but to keep on enduring the emotional discomfort of it, but refrain from making judgements still.

I have completed the 2nd stage of maturity. Now, I am able to withstand extreme like death, torture and pain. I know how to react if I kanna accident or fatal illness. I know my limits which is that I can die any day or become handicap. And others. I have connected big problems with medium and small problems. Small problems are like going for interview, or making a presentation, or social events. I have understood well enough to remove the sufferings in it, in the form of nervousness, which is painful. i also know that at times I should let myself be unreasonable and emotional and to just experience the suffering in full force and allow it to manifest by itself, accepting all outcomes that it may lead to. Hence, the above skills confirm that I have finished the 2nd stage of maturity and is now stepping in the third stage.

3rd stage
The type of people in this stage is usually self help gurus, businessman and scholars. However, this people usually face the problem of decreasing marginal understanding of truth. Because they do many things right and their life is relative peaceful and happier than others, it is difficult to see what else did they make a mistake in their life.

I thought about it and realize what I am missing. With this knowledge, I completed the 3rd stage and went on to the fourth stage. To go into the fourth stage, one has to know this, you have to know what is the purpose of life for us human in this era, and there is a common answer. As I said because most smart people don’t know as it is hard to see.

4th stage
You have the right skills, knowledge and purpose of life now. Remembering that you still cannot control many things even if I am in this rare 4th stage that only 0.1% of people in the world has it.

At the 4th stage, mistakes are still frequently make by me. Big mistakes, small mistakes all are possible. And with big mistakes, you will experience the bat outcomes associated with it. This is coherent to the theory that I still cannot control many things in life. what happens is that there is still infinite room for improvements so you will just keep experiencing more things to learn more until you die.

i have a better descrption.

problems of different dimension can occur at the same time. therefore, a lot of people get confused because of this. they can see up to up dimension at most.

you have to read alot think alot and experience alot to know and rememebr the different dimensions of problems that are occuring so you can recall the different theroies and solutiona assoicating with them.

physical body(headache)
realistic( outcome of the test is uncertain)
another level of realistic (your behavior, beliefs and feelings is still uncertain although they are nearer to your locus of control)
use imagination to learn more things, to produce more solutions ( work first, play later when you make yourself more efficient)
know the limitations of your ability( you will die, your vuleanrablities)

refering to third post below me,

i say that i keep reminding myself that the grades i aim to get is uncertain so whatever happens i have to be calm. and now i am not only aiming to get good grades, i am also aiming to be calm. Hence, i originally was setting one aim only. then , another aim is set up, though i dunno how aware i am, but i guess i am not fully aware of the various aims that i have created.

while achieving one aim, i did not achieve the other, this subconsiocus or whatever failure, lead me to feel uncomfortable, so this discomfort will be used to search for what is the cause of this uncomfort. usually, you cannot spot the correct source until some time or you just forget the whole thing until it happens next time.

anyway, on a slight different issue, i guess the solution for all the three posts including this one is this. the above paragraph tells me that in order to solve problems, you have to know that you are creating a number of wants or aim during a period of time and not knowing what that they exist and what are they will make troubleshoooting impossible.

secondly, from the recursive concept, it requires you to see how one problem can be submerge in another problem and possibly more. therefore, your experience and knowledge has to be also mutli level to solve problems and see how they works well.

so when you become more aware and experience of this concepts and get more experience observing them happen to you in real life, your knowledge in this aspect will increase and this should then help you solve this area of problem, which i cannot name or label it well yet.

i also duuno if that involves other knowledge or concept to understand this area of problem but i think that i am at the edge of solving. and i just need maybe half more year to clear up the loose strings in this area.

recursive error. this is a possible name for the thing that i am going to describe now.

first, you want to ensure that you do not exhibit angry behavior during the difficult discussion later. when the event is drawing nearer, you begin to think and you imagine yourself quarreling with the person if he says certain things. so you realize that you are exhibiting quarreling reaction which is not what you set out o achieve in the first sentence. you want yourself to feel at ease later in the situation. upon realizing that you may not be calm later, you become angry or anxious to solve it quickloy before it approaches.

in conclusion, you become angry(or any other emotions) when you realise that you are possibly going to be angry later. can you see the recursive nature. angry about your anger. in general , becomes emotional about your emotional state.

this is a two layer state. i dunno about three layer. but i think in actual the sequence of emotion state, thoughts, body reactions, physio reactions and behavior, and sunsequent cycle of events is is short- complex reaction. this complex reaction goes beyond the examples which i discussed here which are simplified to look at details.

to sidetrack abit. all this things is like solving a complex block. to solve the big thing, you break into small parts because it easier to see the small parts. and the small parts contain infomation that is require to under the whole thing inside out. however, the whole thing is make up of the small things connecting to one another in many directions. therefore, learning from the small parts are not enough.

we also have to know how the problem becomes in group of few small parts. how various groups interact with other groups or parts, and the larger parts, al the way up to the whole block. this whle block is probably related to some other things.

therefore, we can see that we need to know much more infomation than the small parts, and the whole part. there is a whole range of other levels of parts within these two. beyong the whole part and even finer than the small part.

the things that i aim for, want in these past years are mainly the right beliefs, the right reasonings, behavior and feelings.

a common mistake is when you want tho achieve these correct behavior and beliefs too badly that you become anxious when you realise you are not achieving them. the truth is that it is uncertain whether you can achieve them or not.

therefore, you must not pressure yourself to achieve them. the outcome, whether i will be calm or stuttering during the presentation, or whether i will be rude or not during the discussion of the conflict, is not totally within my control. do you recall the advice which says that to err is to be human so it is okay to make whatever kind of mistakes.

if you turn out to be anxious, unreasonable, depressed, low in confidence and guilty, which you constantly remind yourself that these things should be removed, you have to remember that i may fail to obtain these ideal charateristics. so it is okay to be guilty, and be depress, no matter how long it may become. i know the picture is getting contradicting but i am trying to sort it well too.

so with these negative emotions means that there will be emotional sufferings, apart from the physical sufferings which i have know quite well. so the word emotional suffering is the key idea.

basically, i am hoping to remove negative emotions too much that when i moves toward it, i become anxious or angry, whatever. let go of this want. you can want and aim to remove these negative emotions, but realize that occasionally you cannot do it and will plunge right into emotional states. in the midst of moving towards these negative states, do not resist, embrace it.

embracing negative emotions means to accept that you are getting paranoid or confused or embarrased and is a highly difficult state. how does one accept oncoming negative emotions? it seems impossible by definition. secondly, how do you exactly go about doing and feeling what you say above.

here is the chain of event i picture anyway. first, you tell yourself, i must not desire to get good grades. i can plan for it but i know that it is the outcome is uncertain. although you may have successfully remove the desire to get good grades, you naturally form the expectation to be calm no matter how the situation progress which gives more and more infomation about your grades.

this expectation of calmness becomes the potential to become a desire if you are not aware of it. so while you are telling yourself to be calm over and over again because you keep telling yourself that the grades is unceratin thing. you forget that achieving calmness is also a uncertain thing. you just simply may not achieve it.

you have told yourself not to desire for anything , even calmness in the past but how does one not desire when not desire is a desire in itself.

however, the above example highlights the how stress can occur even if you tell yourself the outcome is uncertain already.

some fear that i have am not too away

fear of stuttering
fear of behaving unreasonably in front of people and people will thus rate me badly for being unreasonable.
fear of not achieving calmness in nervous situation


all fear have to be unlearned by constantly reminding yourself that it is alright if they happen. why can't they happen. this is called trying to achieve and setting goals. these are healthy things but in the proces of achieving them, anything can happen and any goal, no matter how small or big , can be failed to be reached. at all cases, let nature takes it course and be okay with it.

if you have to stutter, than stutter
if you behave unreasonably, then so be it, just take note of it, you will improve it someday later, things cannot be rushed
if you are shaking, and your heart is beating in simple situation, so be it.

that means , that although i tell myself and practise to be calm, dun expect yourself to acieve it most of the time.

everything that is going to happen soon and in the future will be unknown. i cannot know what will happen especially small issues, and also medium and big ones. because there are too many things going around.

anything from death, torture, pain, madness to the good things can happen. do not be surprised about it and everything else. feel normal about everything.

your awareness of your body condition and the quick ability to recognise changes and endure it or deal with it is the key. in the midst of been in an event, separating your physical condition and the event correctly is the second key.

discomfort issue linkage

hypothesis:

if there is a discomfort in you and you are thinking about something that you are afraid, new to or stress about or doing something. to separate them you must be aware.

the solution i give last time is that while you are doing or thinking that thing, you have to be consciously aware of the discomfort while doing. meaning that 30% you are 'looking' at the discomfort and the rest of the energy is spent doing something.

exactly how you be aware or 'look' at the discomfort while doing is unsure. i think you first have to remember to be aware that you need to separate them and many a times, people don't rememeber that.


why we need to separate the discomfort:
because we want to see the discomfort as a physical issue of the body, and the thing that you are doing as separate things. so that you will not mix them up and make mistakes.

conseqeunce of not rememebering:
you will end up thinking that the discomfort comes from the issue and they will be connected together. you will then keep disliking the issue because it automatically creates discomfort.

basically, if you fail to notice that they are unrelated things, you will thought that the issue causes the discomfort. and during the period when the discomfort remains on, you will keep stuck feeling that the issue is causing you discomfort. hence, you will suffer as long as the discomfort and the issue is still be done.

marketing project and engineering product project

this week and next will be dealing witht the two projects mentioned above. my marketing project consists of one indian, and three girls, so i am the only chinese guy. anyway one of them is pretty, i like her but she was attached i found out.

my engineering project was all guys. god really wants me to become gay. he even sent lee ang to shoot the film to tell me indirectly. but hey, i still prefer girls.

of course i did not come here to write this things. i have gathered more evidence that ... wait...
ok here it is. there are two things. first i have to develop resistance towards outcomes of events. no desire, no emotion and no feeling. approaching the event, during and after it. but i do discover that when new things happen in you life, like teaching a new student, you are bound to be distracted and think about it for a while . the aim is to minimise this distraction process and focus on your orignial plan unless there are valid reasons, which seldom occurs.

second is the fear of interacting with people. like in project, i will push myself more because i fear that people may dislike me, or comment bad about me. i seriously do not know where i learn such beliefs. life is pretty crappy. make me form such lousy beliefs.

okay, the advice for this is this. listen carefully. in life, things can go awary. think about your leg beign crushed. your head being chopped and your life being taken. pain, torture, and trauma. you name it there is always a chance for them to happen to me. yes. me. intentionally, unintentionally, friends, strangers, or family who make it. animals or god. whatever, it is, all suffering is possible to befall on me. it is expected that they can happen you the right reaction is to be nonchalent towards them. accept casuality. just go and suffer.

but the things that are happening now and affectin me are small mediu things.you know. so the same solution applies. now matter how small the suffering. all the same just suffer the little bit and be calm. friends laugh and despise you. it ok. i told myself that i will never develop dislike towards aything, anybody and myself. dislike should not exist.

just be aware of my body and do not mixed things up. there you go a receipe for success. failing test has repercussion not big but still is. but still i must be calm about it. small things may snowball and lead to big things. usually, this is where i fear as things get worse my expectations did not change enough to accept the consequence of big things. thats all. just accept all things that happen be like water and flow around everything. please.

prediction

i have no emotions, and obtained high degree of physical awareness already.
even my death, my family's, threat or uncertain bad events, i have embrace them as normal that that we can look upon normally. during high frequency and high body reaction things, i will let go of bad habits of trying too hard to think of the 'right' actions or decisions. instead, i shall do things at normal and simple way, even in the midst of packed event, i just do things and decide things naturally without trying too hard. i will not commit the common exaggerating of issue or misjudgment. i understnad that infinite knowledge means i will definite do wrong things at many aspects. i know that i may lose out to enjoy certain things like joy of having a girlfriend but i will be alright. nethier will i be excited about achievements. i feel acquanited with all sorts of human emotions direct towards me. disgusted expression, angry, hate, amused, ridicuing, critising, talking bad about me, accusing me, sacarstic, intentional, unintentional, i will feel that all its normal because it is our perception and reaction that we should change. i will refrain from criticise and hating others, no one, and of course myself. free from all emotions.

tests and assignments are over...

crime mystery: life

evidence collected:
my shortness and quietness will make me hard to find a girl, without a girl there is no intimacy, no talking partner, no caressing and sex.

no point being optimistic, this means that you do not get to enjoy this thing in life. others do, so good for them.

if i am good at other things, that is good but it is not related to this girlfriend issue, so this issue remains that you cannot enjoy this area.

evidence number 2:
life is suffering, so the buddhists says. i recall a important suffering theory the other day. pain, injury, disease, death, suffering, crying, worried face, anxiety, anger, quarelling, blaming, guilty, suicide, depression can happen to people around you, your friends, family, relatives, and of course yourself. picture as many of them as possible.

stress

i beginning to feel no stress nowadays..hmm..