There are three types of problems bothering my mine. Of course to simplify as three is naïve thought because problems manifest in many degrees and forms.
But the classification is a picture for me.
The first problem is my mother illness. Her condition is at the last stage. The main problem for her is that she has to endure the mental and physical pain of receiving the injections, surgery, doctors, nurses, the strange medical equipment, the doctors analysis, the x rays, the reports, all the things that can trigger her mental and physical problems nd emotional, how others look at her, how she may be worrying about other things. The possibilities goes on. It is a complex situation for her.
As for me, as a son, I still am worried about her, how is she feeling, worried , sad and pure scared of all the things. I should allow myself to worry over her, to feel guilty, to be anxious, I should surrender to all emotions and accept my weakness. I will suffer if it has to come.
The second problem is my studies. Currently, I am not afraid of failing or getting very bad grades. I predict I will not answer more than half the paper judging at my rate. But since I am not afraid, there is nothing to talk about. But the problem lies in the fact that what I think may not be true. Afterall, I may cry when I see the paper and have totally no solutions on soling the problems. Guilt, anger, worry and other feelings may seep into me after all. Again, I am not totally sure what will happen.
The third problem that pops out to me yesterday has not occurred but it dawned to me that it is the greatest problem. I know that this problem is unavoidable if it were really to come. There can be two causes of this problem. It is a physically based but will trigger the emotional and mental part.
The day when I got cancer plus aids and liver damage and kidney damage and rheumatism and gods-know-what disease and I have to undergo many treatment, each involving many pains and discomforts of side effects. Or it is caused by an accident like being hit by and car, being pulled along the road by car, being poured by acid, being burned on the whole body and face, third degree burn some more. All these physical pains, feelings and discomforts is a big problems.
Morever, mental and emotional sufferings like the fear of treatment, the fear of the pain, anxious of how my face is disfigured, the intense trauma and hysteria tha comes along with the physical problem can easily make most people mad, or suffer mental problem permanently.
There may be no perfect solution, but the best I can think of now is to learn abput pain, practice a few pains scenarios, learn about this accidents or diseases, such that assuming if I really strike these things I am able to minimize the physical, emotional and mental effect it has on me , assuming the worst case scenarios where the situation stays with me forever, bothe the physical disfigurement, the pain, discomforts. So the best case is to overcome the emotional and mental problems because these is more possible to solve, though no guarantee because all these accidents and diseases may cause you to be more emotional and mentally problematic because the disrupt your brain functions your emotional function, your normal operations of your body which makes you a calm, stable person. In short, these illness and accidents may definitely create emotional and mental instability no matter who you are before the thing.
Thus, I have bring out three problems. But I am sure there are infinite ones hiding and waiting to pounce on me. Just suffer it is the most cheating advice I can give to myself at the moment. Meaning that I am prepared to suffer in all aspects, physical , mental and emotional.
